A couple of weekends ago, I signed up to help be an event here in Austin. And I skipped out on 95% of it. Now, I realize that makes me sound flaky and terrible. And to the bloggers I wanted to visit with, the friends I didn’t get to see, and the people I didn’t get to meet – I sincerely apologize.
It’s time for me to admit two things to myself. 1- I’m not a extrovert, and 2 – I have serious anxiety issues. I used to really enjoy going to big events. I was at BASHH every month (back when it was called BATHH), I was at networking events, meetups, and tons of happy hours. Now, the thought of large groups (and by large, I mean over 10 people) and being in busy, crowded places makes me get light-headed, nauseated, and have the overwhelming desire to curl into a ball and be somewhere else.
I know this isn’t normal, and I know it’s only getting worse of time. And I plan on addressing it with a licensed professional. For now, I’m doing what I can to avoid being in those situations. I’m limiting my group activities, I’m sticking to small clumps of friends, and I’m relishing in my home body status.
So please understand, if I flake on something, or if I just randomly decline a bunch of invitations….. it’s really not you. It’s me. And please don’t think I don’t like you or don’t want to see you. Chances are, if you want to hang out with me one on one, I’ll be totally down for that. As long as it’s not a small, loud, crowded place.
I’d love to hear from you friends – do you have any issues with anxiety?