Transparent Tuesday – The Things That Really Make Me Feel Ugly

Thanks for all of the kind responses I got to my post last week about my fiance. Y’all warmed my heart!

I did get an interesting comment (that yes, I chose to delete) that was kind enough to point out to me that I was much larger than Adam and that I should question how he is attracted to me. I’ve gotten a couple of comments like that in the past on Instagram, but this is the first time on my blog. Honestly, it didn’t really upset me too much. I get it; to some people, there is no way a plus size woman could be considered attractive or sexy or beautiful. And that’s cool. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether I agree with it or not.

But I wanted to address this on Transparent Tuesday because the truth is, there are plenty of reasons I feel unattractive. And the least of them is my size. While that seems to be the default issue that women say makes them feel ugly, there are usually a host of other things (that other people rarely notice!) that makes us feel insecure or unattractive. In the spirit of Transparent Tuesday, I’m gonna share a couple of them with you.

Thin hair

Love the picture, hate that it shows how thin my part is…..

HAIR. I don’t even know where to begin with my hair. First of all, it’s thin. Especially in the front. I think it’s a genetic thing, because some of the women in my family have the same thing. But I’ve been told by multiple stylists that the hair styles I like won’t work on me because I don’t have full, thick, hair. But oh, I have plenty of hair in places I don’t want it. Facial hair also runs in my family, so there’s plenty of crap I do to my face to keep it looking hairless. I’ve had so much laser hair removal, I don’t even think it’s painful anymore. I’m immune to the laser.

Weird toes

Behold! My weird toes that need a pedicure (that I’m too ashamed to go get).

FEET. I hate my feet. Actually I hate feet in general, but mostly my feet. I had an aunt point out to me once that my toes aren’t straight and don’t go together when I put my feet next to each other. Ever since then, I’ve been super self-conscious about my feet. And I don’t have the perfect squared toe nails that everyone else has. Mine are kind of weird shaped. And my toes aren’t straight! And they are oddly skinny. Even getting a pedicure is hard for me. I hate exposing my feet to people.

Big nose

I rarely look straight on at a camera since I feel like it makes my nose look even bigger.

NOSE. I have this irrational hatred towards my nose. I think it’s huge and it takes up my whole face. Other people tell me that I’m crazy, but I’m pretty sure they are all lying. It’s horrible and I hate it.

Cat

Butt is non-existent, so here is a picture of my cat staring at me in the bathroom. Rude!

BUTT. Actually, by butt I mean lack of butt. Seriously, it’s concave back there. I have wide hips but a totally flat butt. My dad had a flat butt, so I blame him for this curse. My sister always tells me that if I do lunges and squats, I can build up a butt. But honestly, that sounds like the opposite of fun. Every night I go to bed and pray for a butt. Every morning I wake up….. no butt. What kind of sick joke are you playing on me God???

So that’s it; the list of the things that actually make me self-conscious. So thank you random person for trying to shame me for being bigger than my fiance. But if you really want to shame me, try using one of these things. Because I will totally agree with you.

That all being said…… I’m still pretty fabulous 🙂