Transparent Tuesday – The Things That Really Make Me Feel Ugly

Thanks for all of the kind responses I got to my post last week about my fiance. Y’all warmed my heart!

I did get an interesting comment (that yes, I chose to delete) that was kind enough to point out to me that I was much larger than Adam and that I should question how he is attracted to me. I’ve gotten a couple of comments like that in the past on Instagram, but this is the first time on my blog. Honestly, it didn’t really upset me too much. I get it; to some people, there is no way a plus size woman could be considered attractive or sexy or beautiful. And that’s cool. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether I agree with it or not.

But I wanted to address this on Transparent Tuesday because the truth is, there are plenty of reasons I feel unattractive. And the least of them is my size. While that seems to be the default issue that women say makes them feel ugly, there are usually a host of other things (that other people rarely notice!) that makes us feel insecure or unattractive. In the spirit of Transparent Tuesday, I’m gonna share a couple of them with you.

Thin hair

Love the picture, hate that it shows how thin my part is…..

HAIR. I don’t even know where to begin with my hair. First of all, it’s thin. Especially in the front. I think it’s a genetic thing, because some of the women in my family have the same thing. But I’ve been told by multiple stylists that the hair styles I like won’t work on me because I don’t have full, thick, hair. But oh, I have plenty of hair in places I don’t want it. Facial hair also runs in my family, so there’s plenty of crap I do to my face to keep it looking hairless. I’ve had so much laser hair removal, I don’t even think it’s painful anymore. I’m immune to the laser.

Weird toes

Behold! My weird toes that need a pedicure (that I’m too ashamed to go get).

FEET. I hate my feet. Actually I hate feet in general, but mostly my feet. I had an aunt point out to me once that my toes aren’t straight and don’t go together when I put my feet next to each other. Ever since then, I’ve been super self-conscious about my feet. And I don’t have the perfect squared toe nails that everyone else has. Mine are kind of weird shaped. And my toes aren’t straight! And they are oddly skinny. Even getting a pedicure is hard for me. I hate exposing my feet to people.

Big nose

I rarely look straight on at a camera since I feel like it makes my nose look even bigger.

NOSE. I have this irrational hatred towards my nose. I think it’s huge and it takes up my whole face. Other people tell me that I’m crazy, but I’m pretty sure they are all lying. It’s horrible and I hate it.


Butt is non-existent, so here is a picture of my cat staring at me in the bathroom. Rude!

BUTT. Actually, by butt I mean lack of butt. Seriously, it’s concave back there. I have wide hips but a totally flat butt. My dad had a flat butt, so I blame him for this curse. My sister always tells me that if I do lunges and squats, I can build up a butt. But honestly, that sounds like the opposite of fun. Every night I go to bed and pray for a butt. Every morning I wake up….. no butt. What kind of sick joke are you playing on me God???

So that’s it; the list of the things that actually make me self-conscious. So thank you random person for trying to shame me for being bigger than my fiance. But if you really want to shame me, try using one of these things. Because I will totally agree with you.

That all being said…… I’m still pretty fabulous 🙂

13 responses to “Transparent Tuesday – The Things That Really Make Me Feel Ugly”

  1. Pancake butts unite! xo

  2. Rocknrealty says:

    you crack me up!!! FABULOUSness unite!

  3. Lauren Perdue says:

    First off, fuck that commenter. You are stunning. Also you totally hate feet and its hilarious. I definitely empathize with the skinnier-partner shade people throw but i think its just sad that theyve been programmed to believe overweight people dont belong with whatever body type they want. People are people. Attraction just happens.

    • WORD. Fat does not equal unattractive to everyone. People like different stuff. And that’s okay! I don’t need everyone to like me. But I just don’t get how people think that’s a revelation. Dude, I look in the mirror everyday. I know I’m fat. And trust me, I obsess over this other stuff WAAAAAAAY more than the size of my body.

  4. Leigh Ann says:

    Wonder if they would have said anything if it were the other way around? You and Adam make a great couple. The reasons people love us are so far beyond what we look like. I should know, because my husband is way hotter than I am. 😉

    • I tell Adam all the time that he is cuter than me, and he says it’s not true; that there was a contest and I won all the cutes. People like what they like 🙂

      And you are right – no one ever says “Wow that guy is bigger than that girl. I wonder how she could possibly be attracted to him.” Double standards FTW!!

  5. Sarah Williams says:

    You’re my inspiration! Honestly, you make me want to keep on keeping on.

  6. Theresa says:

    I love you. And I’m right there with you. I think about the peaks of lips not being perfectly even more than my body. Also you are a fantastic and engaging writer. And no I will not go to bed even though I work in the morning.

  7. Rosanna says:

    I love your WHR ~(*wonderfully* honest and
    real)~ writing and
    your *confident* fashion style,
    Cathy! Have you ever heard of
    the Japanese concept of “Wabi Sabi,” which is centered on the acceptance
    of imperfection, (and about which numerous books have been
    As a retired College Health R.N., I can hardly believe that I’ve
    reached this point in my life, i.e., without knowing
    “Wabi Sabi” until
    ~o.n.l.y.~ ~r.e.c.e.n.t.l.y.~…………
    because I sure could’ve used the knowledge (even more) when I was
    younger! These two links about “Wabi Sabi,” (directly Below),
    very good, and although the first was written for kids/young
    adults………… it was still very helpful to me personally, i.e., in my initial,
    floundering comprehension of the concept!:

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